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Bertram Smoke Haus was an elaborate two-story restaurant with high ceilings and full service.

Our waiter told us that the building was erected in 1904 as a lumberyard, and sat vacant for years until 1994, when Paramount Pictures transformed the space into the Omaha Hotel for “The Newton Boys,” starring Matthew McConaughey. In March 2008, Stan Hausenflock, son Erick and nephew Chris Reinhart moved their two-year-old barbecue establishment from across the street. Bertram Bar-B-Q Plates are named for famous movie bad-asses, ranging from The Eastwood (1/2 pound) to The Duke (3 pounds of beef ribs). We ordered the Good The Bad & The Ugly ($13.50) – 1.5 pounds of brisket, spicy sausage and pork spare ribs. Stan cooks the brisket for 10 hours out in the open, creating a smoke ring, then 2-4 hours more in foil, to retain moisture. Bertram buys their terrific pork sausage from Taylor Meat Company, which has been stuffing casings for over a century. The gritty dark sausages are seasoned with Cajun spices and green onion. Stan said the longer they cook the sausages, the spicier they get. Pork spare ribs were ridiculously tender, beyond fall-off-the-bone. After our meal, Stan was happy to show us his outdoor smokers and mesquite stack. Out back, Iron Star Hall features a stage that hosts country musicians, and a beer hall with picnic tables. On the drive from Austin, we commented that it had been five years since the last Texas Monthly Top 50 Barbecue list. As if on cue, Stan said that Texas Monthly just visited and he was told Bertram Smoke Haus was set to make the Top 50 in the June 2008 issue. They did. After our outstanding experience, the accolade was well deserved.

In Burnet, the book Texas Barbecue, by Paris Permenter & John Bigley, listed Hill Country Smokehouse in town, but we either couldn’t find it, or the restaurant had closed down. The book was over five years old, after all. On our way out of town, surprise, surprise, we drove by Burnet County Barbecue, which definitely hadn’t closed. “Food GPS my ass,” my dad said. Turns out the nearly 40-year-old establishment had a new owner and a new phone number. This tiny order-at-the-counter establishment somehow made the Texas Monthly Top 50 in 2003, with a 4.5 rating.

Burnet County Barbecue was certainly a cool looking place, long and lean, with stonework on the outside, and a wood and corrugated-metal interior.

A self-defeating message on the menu read: “We may not serve the best bar-b-que in Texas – okay – but we still serve good food – with a good attitude and a happy heart!!!” When we ordered at the counter, the demoralized owner literally couldn’t find a slice of brisket that wasn’t pure fat. It was incredible that he’d admit that, and that he’d buy such feeble meat. When asked what kind of wood he uses, he said, “Mesquite, but if you mix in pecan, it gives the meat a real nice flavor.” Why didn’t he use pecan? Not that it would have mattered. The Three Meat Plate ($8.75) – sliced beef, sausage and pork ribs – came with vinegary cole slaw and potato salad that was absolutely swimming in mayo. In case you don’t know, mayo is a four-letter word, so this was a disturbing sight. The brisket was so fatty it was impossible to eat, and the other meats were rubbery and bland. Strangely, after the new owner bought Burnet County in March, he kept the 2003 Texas Monthly article on the wall, as if it were still notable. It wasn’t.

We arrived in Llano, “the deer capital of Texas,” to find a row of motorcycles parked outside Cooper’s Old Time Pit Bar-B-Que and a line of customers near their impressive mesquite smokers. Seven or eight years ago, we ate at the revered barbecue restaurant and had an earth-shattering dining experience. Once again, we chose to tango with memories of great meals past, always a dangerous pastime.

Each massive smoker held trays of spice rubbed pork tenderloin, lamb ribs, brisket, pork chops, sausage, chicken and ribs.

We ordered half a sausage link, a thick slab of brisket, half a chicken and Cooper’s signature “big chop.” The pitman asked if we wanted “sauce.” We did, so he speared our desired chunks of meat and dipped them in a bucket of sauce before tossing them on a plastic tray. We took the heavy tray inside for weighing and carving. Walls held the requisite amount of deer heads, plus a lynx poised to pounce on customers dining at the picnic tables below. The walls also featured photos of famed Texans who have dined at the restaurant, including 43, UT football coach Mack Brown, and Governor Rick Perry, who evidently went to school with owner Terry Wootan at Texas A&M. Each slice of brisket featured a nice smoke ring, not too much fat and plenty of smoky flavor. The chicken was tremendous, lacquered and luscious. If the bird had crisper skin, it would have achieved poultry perfection. The big chop was similarly outstanding, peppery and moist. The sausage link featured nice snap, but could have been grainier. The finely chopped cole slaw was nice and crisp, without too much corrupting mayo. Cooper’s barbecue wasn’t as staggering as we remembered, but the food was still very good, probably still in the Hill Country’s Top 8. Of course it was tough to gauge after eating three other barbecue meals.

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